My Joke Pitch For A Fake JENGA Movie Makes More Sense Than The Real BATTLESHIP Movie

Jenga: The Movie

High rise construction sites across America are being destroyed by a growing underground criminal element. Hotshot FBI agent Billy Idaho (Chris Pine) is sent undercover to investigate. What he discovers is the most dangerous urban extreme sport since parkour… Jenga. The game’s participants sneak onto construction sites at night, commandeer cranes, and take turns removing a block (or beam) from the bottom (or middle) of the unfinished building and placing it on top—until the building collapses. Billy gains the trust of the most infamous band of thrill-seeking Jenga players, the “Block Busters”, headed by the charismatic Johnny Lawless (Val Kilmer). The FBI’s investigation starts to fall apart like so many Jenga blocks as Billy questions his loyalty to the agency while simultaneously falling for Johnny’s common-law wife Crystal Mystique (Jessica Biel). Meanwhile Johnny plans the most ambitious Jenga game yet at the construction site of the world’s tallest tower in Dubai.

Co-starring Denzel Washington as Senior FBI Agent Onyx Ebony and Jean Reno as French INTERPOL Agent François “Frenchy” Français.

As seen on Fun Time Internet.


3 thoughts on “My Joke Pitch For A Fake JENGA Movie Makes More Sense Than The Real BATTLESHIP Movie

  1. Billy Idaho: Pull the PIECE NOW!
    Crystal Mystique: But Billy, that will…
    Billy: DO IT NOW!!!
    (building starts to collapse in on itself, Billy grabs on to the wrecking ball just in time)
    Johnny: Noooooo!
    Billy swings away to safety
    Billy: IT’S JENGA, BITCH!

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